Turning a corner. Literally and Figuratively.

My weight has been an issue for a great deal of my life. I also realize now that I have carried some baggage in in my life that has turned into actual baggage on my thighs, hips and stomach.  Sadly, I found a few pictures from college the other day and remembered what I have remembered many times before. I wasn't that big. I remember hearing all the time, "You'd be pretty if you lost a bit of weight." I still hear that statement in my head quite often when I look in a mirror. I remember when it was said to me the first time and several times after that.
Even at times in my life when I look in a mirror and see a smart, funny, beautiful and confident woman, that voice creeps in and I have to say, "Well, I could be." 
It saddens me that I have carried that voice and that label. Especially this week when I found these old pictures from 15-17 years ago, when I was in college. I looked at this girl and saw a pretty girl. I wasn't a size 0, but I was a lot smaller than I am today. Why did I believe that the voice was true? 

I also happened to look at our wedding picture on our wall. I looked gorgeous on my wedding day, even if I do say so myself. I know that part of it was the happiness that I felt and that it was bursting from my heart.  I see pictures of me after I gave birth to our children and I see such happiness and it's beautiful.

Now, I'm at a place where being someone's definition of beautiful isn't my goal. Looking better would be a bonus, but mostly, I want to be healthy. I want to chase these kids around without being winded. I want to do this before I turn 40...It gets harder as you get older and at 35, I better get moving. For real.

I want to feel good about myself. I feel good about myself in so many parts of my life, except for my physical ability and yes, appearance. I want to look healthy and be healthy. (So, honestly, there's some vanity involved.)

So, I've begun walking again. I've watched my food, but until I get the needed exercise, that I even crave right now, I'm not going to reach a healthier place.

So, I'm turning a corner. Mostly the one at the end of my driveway as I walk up a steep hill. Once or twice a day.

We'll see, we'll hope.

The move! July 7, 2011

I haven't had much time to post. The kids are currently on opposite nap schedules. That has left little time to do things like write. I mostly just clean up one little toddler tornado after another...

But, Ian has some respiratory congestion, so he didn't sleep very well last night. That left Dustin going to church and I stayed home with the kids. The are both a bit snotnosed...literally.

So, since they are both content and not very active. I thought I'd take time to show you part one.

THE MOVE

Here is our house going through the intersection at the top of Mill Hill in Jamestown, ND. It was pretty crazy to watch. I went to town early, just to watch this.

Here is the house headed out of town.

This is going around a corner.

I get a kick out of this picture. It is the house driving into our driveway.  OUR DRIVEWAY! We almost have a house.

And here we are, backing the house into place on the site we sit right now.  We moved in the following weekend, even though we didn't have everything painted, still don't. But after living with my inlaw for close to a month and having most of our possessions in the shop (Some are still there.) It was time to make it ours.

Hopefully, I can get the progress pictures updated sooner rather than later.