I'm sorry I'm MIA, I'm OK

I am sorry to be gone for so long. The funeral on Monday wore me out, then...I had class on Tuesday night and an emergency at church. Just trying to get some things together for the youth group and everyone panicked instead of coming up with a solution and I don't think well when people are yelling...That night I hardly slept and had a panic attack, I'd never had one before (I don't recommend them) All is better. Cooler heads prevailed and I think we've got all the fires out.
I've also been very reflective lately. At the funeral on Monday in the eulogy (which was better and more proclamation of the gospel than I felt about the sermon), our friend who died had recently seen the movie "the bucketlist" and had said that he felt he had done all the things he really wanted to do with his life, there wasn't anything that he hadn't tried that he wanted to try. I had to admire that.
How often do we have all these things we put off or say, I'll do them later? I realize that sometimes we have long range goals that we can't accomplish right now, but have to work up to, for either financial reasons or maybe just the circumstances of life, but it lead to a question. What are the things that I want to do that I can do, right now, or work toward right now, that I have been putting off?
Does anyone else wonder this? Look at things and and life and think life is too short...I should do things that I've been putting off? I'm not trying to be morbid, but I wish I lived life to the fullest and during most weeks lately I feel like I'm just trying to get through the week.
I know it doesn't mean anything to a lot of people, but last night I started knitting again. I pulled out a project that I had had on needles for a long time, I ran out of yarn and needed to get one more skein. It is a baby blanket, an easy pattern, quick, no thinking, garter stitch. I think I may have started making it for someone awhile ago, but I don't remember who it would have been for, the kid is probably in high school now, who knows. It's yellow and cheery and it felt good to start doing something I hadn't done and I had missed, so it's a small step, start knitting again...one thing done.
In other exciting news, I got a new spinning wheel. It is an ashford, 3-4 years old and it is in great shape and I've been working on learning to get better. It is pretty cool. I can't wait to get better at it.
Well, I better get back to work. I have to get some church stuff put together and I have to also study for class tonight. We are picking up our pace in EMT class and are going to meet 2 times per week. It's going to be difficult to do during Lent, but I'll make it. Dustin is going to help me.
I start doing ride alongs next weekend and I'm kind of nervous about it, but I'll do fine, I'll get there.
I better get back to church bulletin and my studying. Doing both to get breaks from the other. We'll see how it works.

I am tired

I am too tired to write anything productive today. I have several things I would like to write about and planned on it tonight, but I can't. Work has me exhausted, my EMT class has me exhausted, the world has me exhausted, people have me exhausted. I must go to sleep

Long week!

It has been a long week. Our neighbor passed away from a heart attack in his sleep. His wife is also a cousin of Dustin's and we were close. Dustin sang with this guy in a gospel quartet. He was 67 and very active, so it was a bit of a shock.
Dustin has to sing at the funeral and I don't know how that will go, I think it will be difficult, but he'll make it through. I'm a little worried about him. It's just hard.
The prayer service is tonight and funeral tomorrow morning. Dustin stayed home from church because it was going to be a long day. My in laws bought the guy's cows, so they are moving them today because it is supposed to get cold tomorrow. (As in like really cold!)
I have to go to our conference assembly in Jamestown. It's to select from the bishop candidate nominations to nominate 7 from the several. That will be interesting, but my heart isn't in it.
I preached a great sermon today, even if I do say so myself. Sometimes you know if you got it right. I know my sermons are proclamation of the gospel, but sometimes you know your delivery was spot on too. (It was a great feeling to see eyes light up) YAY Holy Spirit.
I better head home. I was finishing some church stuff up and assumed I wouldn't get a chance to write if I didn't do it now.

Confirmation and Bible Study

I finished confirmation early today. I couldn't figure out why until the kids reminded me that we started early because we were all there. Good for them. They were quiet today, which saddened me. They are usually such a chatty class, they engage everything well and there are some thinkers in the bunch. I use to dread teaching confirmation. I had some tough classes when I started. I have had a great class the last couple years and have found the joy of teaching jr. high kids. I think if I had a tough class now, I would be better prepared on how to handle them. Maybe I am growing up? I'm not sure how I feel about that right now.
Tonight I have a bible study. That has been very fun. I love the group that shows up and because they are excited to be there, we have fun. So, I am excited about the night.
Tomorrow is the monthly conference clergy/leaders gathering. I am looking forward to it. I haven't been to one since September. I have had funerals or other commitments, so it will be fun to touch base with friends.

I can flush

Good news. Good news. Our toilet is fixed. It was a major plug up somewhere, not sure where, not sure how we unplugged it, but after snaking it 6 times and plunging it 10, it finally got whatever it was out. So, we have a working toilet again and a happier household.
Our house is still a wreck from cleaning out the upstairs, but at least we are only dealing with one traumatic event at a time.
Bonus today. Only two of us showed up for EMT class tonight. That is bad. Good is that the two of us that did show up went over assessments, boarding, and keding. Then....we got to go home. So, I am home two hours early. I picked up carside to go at Applebee's. I came home. I am going to get my confirmation lesson together and then go back to the attic.
ONe more bonus. 100% on my quiz tonight.
Goodnight

Why does life attack all at once? But at least it's sunny out!

So, we have been working on the attic to get Grandma Avis's and our stuff cleaned out so we can start making it a real room and bedroom. Yay for us. Now, to complete this process I have run about 13 loads of dishes through the dishwasher. Our house is full of boxes. we've run three loads of rummage sale stuff to the place where that is being stored.
We have 5 totes of stuff we will store in our barn for the timebeing.
Our house is really a mess. So, this has been a bit stressful.
I would guess this is all we can handle right now and still remain sane. Or so I thought...
Now we are having plumbing problems. We just had the septic tank guy out, good news. We don't have a frozen septic tank and drain field, which was the suspicion. It seems we have a plugged sewer line between the house and the tank.
This we think we can fix...Good grief. Old homes suck. But we're getting there.

Holiday Parities and a Messy Attic

You may wonder what these two things have to do with each other. Absolutely nothing. Last night was the holiday party at the ambulance. Today we started cleaning out the attic of Grandma Avis's stuff.
The party last night was kinda fun...We had a really good potluck dinner. Then there was a bingo gift exchange. Everyone brought a gift and then we played bingo for them and then went in reverse order and you could take a gift from someone else, and after that it was a couple games for cash prizes. I must say, it got a bit long for me...I got tired, but it was fun.
Today, we slept in and this afternoon Dustin's parents came over and we started going through Avis's stuff in the attic.
Dustin and I live in the house that his grandparents lived in. They are both gone now, Avis died last year. Anyway, it is time to go through the last of her stuff. Before us, noone had lived in the house for 7 years.
We are now going to empty the attic, finish it and it will become our bedroom.
So, there is the latest chapter of farm wife and pastor husband. Home renovation, here we come.
Dustin had to go to town for his quartet rehearsal, so now I'm trying to get my stuff for church put together.
Good night

Road Trip! Kinda?

So, I have got to get a bunch of stuff done tonight because I'm taking a road trip my hubby tomorrow. I took today home as a comp day because three night this week I didn't get home until after 10:30 p.m. 12+ hour days are tough on me and I've had quite a few of those in the last couple weeks.
so, I was going to get tons of work done tomorrow at church and Dustin needs me to go with him to Fergus. He's doing some clinical stuff for his paramedic degree and has to leave at 3:AM. anyway, he wants me to come with to help with the driving because he thinks he could fall asleep. So, I better make sure I've got ducks in a row and work to bring along.
Oh, and it's the ambulance holiday party tomorrow, so I have to get my potluck salad put together tonight.
Road Trip. Kinda? Not really.

Mondo Beyondo, Pt. 2

Thank you again, moe for sharing...and inspiring me again and go to moe's blog if you want to see where she got hers.

What are my intentions for 2008.
1) I intend to be more healthy in body, mind and spirit. This includes getting exercise more regularily, my energy level is so much better when I do. I will make an appointment with my spiritual director and regular appointments after that. I love my spiritual director, she is a sister at a local convent and this is good for my mind and spirit. It is so amazing having someone who will listen to my spiritual and life struggles and joys and cares about where I see God in my life. She is amazing. Thank you Sister D.
2)It is my intention to carve out time for my interests and hobbies. I haven't knitted in ages and I enjoy it, it's very relaxing. I have gotten a spinning wheel, but I haven't had time to work at it to learn to spin well.
3) I intend to clean out my closets! I have more clothes than is necessary and they would be more useful if they were donated.
4) Dustin and I intend to clean out our attic and make it into our bedroom. We live in the house that Dustin's grandparents lived in and we've made it livable. Dustin's grandma passed away last year and now the stuff that is in the attic needs to be disposed and/or distributed to appropriate family members. When that is done, we will drywall, built closets and storage, carpet and turn it into our bedroom.
5) Dustin and I have the intention of starting a family. We are not getting anxious about this, but will be looking forward to whatever happens, life is good no matter what.
6) I intend to go to the state Democratic convention as a delegate from my district. (The coolest thing about this is I believe that this is going to happen)
7) I intend to take guitar lessons.


After you list your intentions, let's do the list that is truly Mondo Beyondo status. What are the things you are wanting to manifest that are almost too scary to even write down?
1) I want to raise a pair of angora goats. I would love to be able to make yarn out of the angora. I am nervous about this, but I think I would enjoy it. I would like to start first with a couple sheep and see how that goes.
2) I would like to go back to school for mortuary science and become a funeral director. I don't know if I would ever do this. I have a job I enjoy and I don't know if I would ever have the ability to leave my job and go back to school. I don't know if we could afford it and with the farm, being away for major parts of the agricultural year would be hard. I think I would be a good funeral director and it would also be cool to embalm and stuff. It's a crazy intention, I don't know if I will be able to do it, but that's the point of writing them down, right?
3) I would love to write a book of essays or a book on women in ministry and the feeling of being "called." (this is an idea that a friend and I had awhile ago, she is a 2nd career pastor and was in her late 40's when she went to seminary. I am a young pastor.) We would like to write a book about women in ministry and the similarities and difference from our different ages and perspectives in life and how that effects our sense of call and faith.

Well folks, that is all for now. It is late. Dustin is gone tonight. So, it is time to go to sleep.
Good night.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

I believe I have everything together for tomorrow with the exception of the prayer list. i can't find it, but will before I get to bed. I should go in the basement and help Dustin with the ongoing remodeling, I will in a few. I am so droopy and it is only 8:PM. I think I could go to bed right now. What happened to the excitment of Saturday night. Go out, have some fun, maybe go have a few drinks, sometimes a few too many.
Then...I became a pastor. Saturday nights are now meant for making sure that everything is done for church tomorrow. I think I must feel like most people do on a Sunday when they know that Monday is around the corner and good or not, there is a certain amount of ..."I have to go to work tomorrow? No." I love my job, but tonight I am feeling a bit luke warm about it. I'm not feeling luke warm about my faith, the places I serve, just the act of getting in front of people tomorrow. I have a sermon together, but I feel like I have absolutely nothing to say that would matter to anyone. I guess that is where the Holy Spirit comes in, taking what I say and making sure that God's word is heard in spite of me when I know it won't be because of me.
So, tonight I keep spelling and singing S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night! and thinking of a different time. It wasn't a better time, just different. I wish for just a little carefree when I wasn't worrying about bills to pay, people to keep happy, projects to keep on track. I am wishing for something a little different, even though I don't know what it would be.
On the other side of things, I have both of my dogs curled up close by, my house is warm and cozy, I got a bunch of laundry done, I'm wearing my comfy slippers and yoga pants, and I'm hearing my husband tinker in the basement through the ducts and every once in awhile he talks to the cat (which I think is adorable) (When he hurts himself he swears and I can't help but laugh at that too!)...I don't think I would ask for anything more on a Saturday night. I think if I was in the pre-pastor life I would be wishing for what I have now.
Either way, tomorrow is Sunday and I need to find my prayer concerns list...
Tomorrow night or possible Monday I will continue my Mondo Beyondo, Pt. 2.

books! books! books!

Yesterday was absolutely incredible! I have a wonderful collegue who is retiring. Next week he will be moving from his current parish to MN. Monday I get a call telling me that we (myself and other collegues) to come look at the books he wishes to give away.
I came away with two boxes of books. Biblical commentaries, preaching books, great literature, short story collections...the list goes on and on. It was fun.
It was great to get together with this collegue and his wife, they are some of the wisest people I know and I will miss them being just a town away.
So, as they leave, they have given me a great gift, a great gift of books that will grace my office. I may have to seek out another bookshelf! I was running out of room before this. Now! I will be bursting at the seams of my already tiny office.
It is getting late. I have been sitting on my bed most of the evening with sleeping dogs and my laptop. I have been working on worship for Sunday.
My hope is some day I will be the person who has got a worship committee that will put together entire seasons before they arive and have hymns and everything chosen. Since I do no have that, you get by the seat of my pants, at least it's done, worship planning. (At least now I have more good books to help with the process.
Tomorrow, I think I'll go to Fargo. I have visits to do there and another along the way. If I don't go tomorrow, I'll go Friday.
goodnight

My New Truck!

I am driving a "New-to-Me" 1995 Toyota 4Runner. We Got a great deal on it. I think that it will last a long time. I like it and the best news. No more bits of my car will be falling off after I hit snowdrifts.
We are going to sell my car as soon as I get it shoved out.

Anyway. Here is a not so gre

at camera phone picture of the new beauty.

The cat to the left of the 4Runner is our cat Winnie. She is named after the sound she makes. She doesn't "Meow" it is more of a horses winny. When she is in trouble, she gets yelled at by her full name. "Winifred P. Kitty"

Behind the cat to the left is the Grand Prix that I am going to sell. Gold, 4dr. 1999.

Sunday afternoon and I want to be home!

It is 35 degrees outside on a beautiful, sunny Sunday afternoon. A group Dustin plays for is having a rehearsal/Christmas party right now. So, here I sit in a livingroom, thankfull with wireless access.
It's such a perfect day, I would rather be home. Not so much because I don't want to be here, but because I could be getting some rest at home and baking and enjoying an afternoon with my hubby just relaxing. I like the people, so there is a bonus. A colleague's wife sings with the group, so his will be here later too and they are wonderful.
I have been testdriving a new vehicle, well, new to me. It's a 95 Toyota 4Runner. It's older than my current Grand Prix. I love my car and we were looking at getting me into another car, but winter gravel roads are leading us to a 4-WD. The roads by our house are not always maintained promptly, or at all. I have harmed one of my exhaust pipes on my car and something from my front spoiler broke off after hitting a hard drift. So, a SUV it is now going to be for me.
It's a bit barebones on options and I'll need to put a CD player in it too. It's pretty low on miles and Toyota's run forever, so it seems like a really good options. They are asking a little lower than book value and once we sell my car, it would be a very economical way to get me into a more practicle vehicle.
We will also have Dustin's vehicle, which is a newer pick-up, so that will be nice.
They are looking at the struts tomorrow and we will decide if we are going to buy it, I think we will, it will be fun to have a reliable vehicle.
Well, the practice seems that it is getting close to being done. I better be done.

Funerals

I had a funeral today for someone I didn't really know. I was filling in for my Methodist colleague who was out of town and one of his daughters is a member of one of the churches I serve. I struggled with this one. The tiny church was packed, mostly with family and it was just surreal because I didn't really know this man. I had met him at an auction sale one time. It had been a long time since I had done a funeral for which I did not know the person who had passed.
On the other side of this, I am happy to do funerals for families. It's this wonderful opportunity to share the gospel and hope of Christ.
Good night

Pictures! Finally!

Here are finally a few pics from our honeymoon. We took our honeymoon about 1 and a half years after our wedding, but it was great.
I'm so thankful that my congregations were willing to let me be gone the first two weeks of Advent. The first part of December was the best time to go and more affordable for us.
we would love to take another cruise.
These are a couple shots from the ship. Grand Turk, Half Moon Cay and Nassau. Maybe I'll have time to post some more some day.



















These are of my sweetie in Grand Turk. What a fun day!

2007 complete

I was reading on saramoe's blog about "Mondo Beyondo" it is about completing the year 2007 and it answers some questions.
1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2007?
I started an EMT-basic class. It was intimidating to start something like this. I was good at school, but this has been so much different than the philosophy and theology I have been steeping in for so long.
I joined Curves, I had worked to be proactive about my health in the last two years and his a plateau this year, I think I may have found a way to move beyond and I want to feel healthy, I was feeling so good, I want that endurance back.
I explored my career and life options and now know that where I'm at is really good, not perfect, nthing in life is, but I'm happy.
I went on anti-depressants. I know a wierd thing to acknowlege, but I got help when I needed it and have come out of the darkness with a new strength I didn't know I had. I know that this is something that will always be part of my life, but it is not something I have to face alone.

2. What is there to grieve about 2007?
A friendship I cherished ended. Not really by choice, but by circumstances of life. We both changed and our friendship was hurting each other more then building each other up. I miss her terribly. I grieve that we never had a good talk to see where we were at or where we needed to be. I think if something had been said sooner, maybe we would have kept being friends, but we drifted apart. It happens, but it saddens me to the core.
I hardly have picked up knitting needles in the last year, I didn't complete one project. I miss this hobby and I have enough in my yarn stash to start my own store. I grieve that I didn't love myself enough to give myself this time to do something I love.
I grieve that I wasn't as dedicated to my career as I would like or have been. I was struggling with if I was still called to my parish and I distanced myself because of it. I was close to burnout, I have the inventories for Alban to prove it! There were reasons, but I know I could have handled things better.

3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete?
I have made some new friends, I have reconnected with some people that I hadn't talked to in a long time. Dustin and I took a honeymoon and spent some time on ourselves which I love.
I tried to give more to Goodwill and did! I tried some new things and I'm proud of myself for that. I have learned to drive a combine. I have celebrated my first wedding anniversary with the man that I love and am amazed that we have found each other. I declare 2007 complete

Good Friends

What a great night! I had dinner tonight at Bab's Coffee House, which I love. I had never eaten there before, I can highly recommend the wraps on the vegan section of the menu. I had this wonderful humus, sprout, cucumber and tomato and a bit more thing. It was wonderful. The best part of the night was good conversation with a new friend, who I hope becomes a good friend. Thank you K, it was a great time. I am always amazed how sometimes you can meet people and feel like you have found a kindred spirit who has the same love of fun and life as you, in the best of times and the worst of times, you know that person will persevere and you like to think of yourself the same way.
I have a funeral on Saturday. I don't know the deceased, I think I had met him once, I know some of his family. The family has planned a very personal funeral as far as music and the like. I'll put the service together after the prayer service tomorrow night once I hear everyone's stories.
I miss Dustin tonight, this is the only night works this week, yet, I wish he was here. I guess it is a good thing that I miss my husband, right?
I started a new program at Curves today as well. Their smart training program, I think I will like it because of the accoutability and the challenge to get better. I don't make New Year resolutions, but I do feel like I am getting a good new start to taking care of my health. I really want to be healthier. My bp and other things are good, but I know I have risk factors and want to take care of them. It was exciting to feel motivated again.
Well, I must sleep. My eyes are starting to droop.
Good night all.