Inspired! To Cook!

I have to thank Flathead Mama for her recent inspiration on the cooking front. Thank you! I have dealved into a whole new world in the last weeks.
Cooking Light. Cooks.com, Epicurious.com  and Weight Watchers
I cooked something other than lasagna with Ricotta, I finally figured out to cook brown rice the right way. (I prefer it to white, but have always had trouble cooking it).  I was reminded how much I like to make my own chickenstock...So, this week. I am buying a whole chicken and roasting it! I will get three meals from one bird and it will be affordable and delicious.
I was at my mom and dad's for the weekend. I learned something about my relationship with food. I learned it from my conversation with Dustin on the way home. We were talking about how my mom always sends food home with us. I appreciate it. I sent the cake down to my inlaw's house. I threw the spaghetti sauce in the freezer. It was made with ground elk and buffalo. I'll use that in the next weeks as a quick go to meal.
I got off track, back to my mother. My mom says, "I love you," with food. So, while on the one hand, I grew up hearing, "You could stand to lose a few pounds."  On the other hand, I would hear, "Have some more cake."
I think this is why I have struggled with weight and food. I take it as comfort and to some extent...love. But, the food isn't love. Love came from the person who made it for me. And sometimes, that got a bit misguided, especially when coupled with mixed messages.
Since Ella's birth, I have been trying to make better decisions and define a new relationship with food. I've been reminding myself that love comes from the people around me. And when I am hurt, when I get frustrated by the actions of others, when I feel attacked and like I need to hide...I will not find love and confort from a carbohydrate. (Let's face it, I never met a carb I didn't like!)

I actually looked forward to coming home from our weekend, just so I could plan the week ahead. Today will be an easy night. Tomorrow, I'll do some grocery shopping in the midst of our busy day.  We are gone from morning until later afternoon. But, after that, the week should lighten up with the craziness. I want to love myself with the food choices I make. I can make choices that will be healthier for my family as well. It is a cycle that needs to be changed in my life. I know that with the loss of weight, my energy level would greatly improve, and my energy level is actually pretty high when I'm not dragged down by weeks of cold weather and no sunlight.
Right now, according to my physical, except for my weight, I am healthy. Good BP, not pre-diabetic, good cholesterol numbers. I bounced back incredibly well after Ella's birth.  Right now, my body has not yet started to turn against me. I know it is a matter of time if I don't change things for the better. I am being given an opportunity.  I don't know what the future will bring. I do know that no matter how I proceed in changing my weight and health, my relationship with food will be important.

I am excited about getting started this week...The reason is practical. We have company and so, it is soooo much easier to cook for more than two people. I will eventually figure out the things that I can freeze for "playback at a later time." Until then. I can develop a new arsenal.
So, to my visiting guinea pig for the week. I hope it goes well. You are going to be part of a new week of food.