When your son HAS NO FEAR! You start to realize your own.

I love my son, but really. He has no fear. Every week, sometimes day, we are marked...And not with the cross of Christ.
This week, he has a healing bump on the head. I was across the room as I watched him run toward the entry, trip on his feet and then nail his head right into the side of the doorway. You know they are hurt when there is silence before the scream...You know the sound or the lack of it. The silence is heavy as your little one realizes that he has really hurt himself...and it hurts...badly
I was across the room in 5 seconds (we have a very small house) and it was already swollen and black and blue.  I looked in his eyes, good news, pupils the same size, appropriately responding to light. We watched that he didn't get prematurely sleepy or odd in his behavior.
I think once a week we get a "I'm running with reckless abandon and you aren't going to catch me" injury. He's right. I can't catch him, but the floor, door, table, chair, or other object in our home usually does.
He runs into the kitchen table. Now, he realizes that it's too short for him to run under. He ducks. Just not always enough.
He didn't get hurt one day, but got in a heap of trouble when we found him climbing up the organ. Using the keyboards as steps.
He really lives every moment with gusto. He learns from his previous injuries, but he just manages to hurt himself living his normal, toddler life. Crazy.
Maybe he'll grow up to be a risk taker. I admit, I'm a bit more cautious in how I live my life. Ian has no fear and I notice my fears more.
Who knows, maybe he'll be a farmer. I never realized the stress I would be under in being a farmer. Every year is new. I hate gambling, I just don't do it well. Maybe it's because I live a life of gamble.
It's measured. We plan, we do what we can make sure we have the best inputs, plan for spraying, scouting, etc. etc. But in the end. You throw your hands up to God and say, "Dear Lord, Take care of us this year." And God does. Some years, you have the chance to do some things that you never thought you'd get the chance to do. Some years, you say, "Thank you Lord for providing for us again this year." And with that, you do what you can to do everything in the most efficient way as possible.
I pray that every year we will make the right decisions and be blessed with the right weather and hopefully...I can continue to stay home.
I think I have been more nervous since the accident over a year ago now. I would have a different title to this blog. "I'm a Farm Wife (I'm Terrified!)
There's something about almost losing the love of your life, your partner in all things, the father of your children that puts life in perspective. I want to live every moment to the fullest, yet, I also get so nervous about "what if." 
Ian not have any fear, it scares me.  I don't want to keep him in a bubble, yet, the desire to make sure he can never be hurt is overwhelming.
I'll keep teaching him. I'll keep doing what I'm doing, to the best of my ability. Let's face it, Supermom, I am not. But I want to make sure that my fears, (real and imagined) are not responsible for paralyzing him. I want him to learn from the bumps and bruises because I know that I can't keep him from being hurt in life.
Hopefully, I can teach him to walk with humility, sometimes even a little grace. I want him to trust God and know that he will never be abandoned or forsaken. I want him to live with gusto and not as much fear as I sometimes have. I want him to be the best boy he can and grow into a young man who respects himself and others and cares for the people in world who need help.
I hope his fearlessness extends to his ability to love, grow, learn, and pray.
So, maybe having no fear could be a good thing.