Yesterday and overnight, Dustin worked at the ambulance. I think he had fun, calls and seeing people...And then...there's me. AT HOME, ALONE, ALL NIGHT, with our two wonderful children.
This is not a complaint, this is motherhood, but let me just ask you, what I ask them. "Do you time these things?" Just when I take care of one, the other one decides it is their turn.
I know, you are thinking, "you decided to have two children close together, you brought it on yourself." I know I did. 99.25% of the time I would never change a thing. Then there's this measly. 0.75% that involves two children screaming, demanding, or needing my attention at the same time or right in a row.
I always noticed that Ian had "impecable timing," now that Ella is here too, apparently they have decided to coordinate their efforts. This came amazingly clear when I tried to make supper.
Ian woke up late from his nap (4:30) so he was up for an hour and he got totally cranky. I made him supper. He wasn't going to be eating the same things as me. (I was having stir-fry, he wasn't going to go for it). As he was eating, I cut my veggies, washed dishes, got things ready for later.
Ella wanted some attention, so while Ian was eating. I dealt with that. By 6:00, I am getting hungry, my veggies aren't completely cut yet. I got my rice on at 5:45, so by 6:30, I should have everything ready. My stirfry and my rice. I'm terrible at timing meals to come out at the same time, so I'm feeling proud. (Pride cometh before the fall)
The chicken is cooked, I take it out of the wok. I throw in my celery and carrots to start cooking and...Ella starts to wail. I had tried to feed her at the same time as Ian, but she was having none of that and now I know why. She was waiting until I was making my dinner in a hot wok with brown rice on the simmer.
So, I got her cereal and fed my daughter.
Then I figured out why mom's eat like crap. We are always taking care of someone, and that's not a bad thing, but taking ourselves comes so far from behind that we don't even cook a decent meal for ourselves. I realized this as I contemplated, "Maybe when the rice is done I could put it in the fridge along with the cooked chicken and then I'll try again tomorrow to eat decent and tonight I'll grab something else."
I've been working hard to eat healthier. I feel better when I do, it's amazing in a short time how much better I feel. And the children are what side track me. They don't mean to, it's not intentional, I know that. They have needs and I or their father are the only ones who can fill them. I'm a SAHM, that means...I fulfill most of those needs and when Dustin isn't home for supper, I fulfill all of them.
I don't know how single parents do this, "You are my heros." I do the single parent thing for 28 hours and I'm a mess.
Now, some of you are thinking, "You should plan better." I try, did you hear about the 45 minute rice and the veggie cutting ahead of time? But my children don't plan. It's part of the joy of being a child, you don't have to plan.
I keep trying to eat at the same time as Ian and work on his eating habbits, but at 5:30...he was starving and I didn't have my supper ready. Ella had some needs to be taken care of too.
So, I am on this rollercoaster. I'm trying to take care of myself while taking care of them. I love taking care of them, but I realize if I don't do what I can to take care of myself, I am of no use to them. If I don't work on my health, I won't be around later when they still need me. I want to be the mom who loves how she feels, who can run around the yard with them and not get winded. I want to be a healthy example to them on living life. I do my best to keep them healthy (struggling to get Ian to eat vegetables besides cauliflower and celery), so don't I owe it to them and to myself to do the same. They will learn more about from my example then than anything else I do.
So, I will keep trying
By the way...I did get Ella fed and get my stirfry done. I only ate about 30 minutes later and the brown rice needed a little longer to cook. So, I didn't do too bad this time. Thank goodness. Today. leftover stirfry! I only will have to use the microwave.
4 comments:
I feel your pain! This is so hard! I really struggle with eating as much as I should too...I can't imagine how much harder it is with TWO! Especially when I was nursing, but even now, there were many times I just wouldn't eat enough...and I was SO HUNGRY. If you have the money, I used to love to buy Amy's meals (you can get them in the freezer case at Target) because then I could throw it in the microwave and know I was going to get a healthy meal.
Another thing that has helped lately is having Burrito eat more often what I am eating or something similar. Like, last night, I made Asian peanut noodles. I make her just warmed up peanut butter and veggies for her noodles, whereas ours has the spices...I'm sure you can't do that with the baby though...
We are adapting. When I say "we", I mean "me."
With Ian such a picky eater, it's a bigger struggle. Ironically. He was the best veggie eater as a baby. Ate them well for awhile after that. Now, the last 9 months. Just hard.
So, I bought deceptively delicious by Jessica Sienfeld. Ian had mac and cheese last night and in it was a serving of squash, he never new. Neither did Dustin, I didn't tell him. Hahahaha.
BTW, going to try the honey baked lentils tonight.
Haha!!! Sneaky you! Burrito was a great veggie eater too until she hit toddler-hood. I thought I had it made and suddenly she turned picky! She's getting better though...
you make me laugh...and sort of want to cry when I see it all typed out like that. You means I'm not the only one who manages to serve the kids a dinner of whole grains, raw fruits and veggies and lean protein with a low fat dairy mixed in only to have BBQ chips and coke for dinner after they go to bed and I realize *I* never ate? Glad to be in good company! :)
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