Warning...Don't let this happen to you! (Husbands! Take note, Your wife needs you!)

Before you read any further, this entry is not for the weak of stomach. This is about me getting sick and so, you should know that up front because there are more details than I would usually share.
I have recently talked about my struggles with motherhood lately, that and my cooking/baking adventures. I finally hit a few walls. I was so worked up a few nights ago that I threw up. Yes, you heard it here first. I puked after my children both screamed for about an hour in my attempt to get them to bed. We have been struggling with bedtime a lot lately. Ian got overly tired, so he got wired. He came home sleepy and then became a screaming madman and the screaming woke his sister. After that, they just set each other off repeatedly. Ian was almost asleep initially and Dustin got a phone call. He turned the fan on in the bathroom and went in there to talk, so as to not disturb, so I thought. The phone call lasted for 45 minutes, he had no idea what I was going through...When he did, he took over the little screamer and I continued working with the big screamer.
Now, lately, my stomach has been bothering me. So much so that I have been thinking about making a doc appointment. Dustin may have made the correct diagnosis last night. I'M A GIANT STRESSBALL! Now, the stomach/abdominal pain hasn't necessarily gone with particularily stressful moments. Now that I look at the last weeks, my body basically went on strike.  I have had various moments in my life when I know that this has happened before. I almost gave myself ulcers at 16, so I'm experienced, but it really hasn't physically manifested itself in this way since I was about 21 and that involved finals and way too much coffee and no sleep and a big project.
I look at what lead up to this. Dustin and I both got stomach flu, (thankfully the kids avoided that one), children not sleeping through the night, Ella teething, colds and fevers for both. Now, as I write this, I haven't gotten a full night sleep in over a week. Dustin is currently teaching an EMT class 2 nights a week, so I'm on my own for bath and bedtime. The last 5 nights I have been sleeping in a recliner with one child or the other for most of the night.  My neck is stiff, my back is sore, I haven't been sleeping and I live with two children under the age of two and therefore, they are dependent on me for EVERYTHING! It's just the stage we are at and someday I will miss it, I realize that this is also part of the insanity that is motherhood.
Now, I will get back to being sick. After we finally got them to bed, I told Dustin about the pain (hoping the paramedic could diagnose me since that is one of the few perks of being married to a medic). He thought it sounded like stress. We went to bed. I laid there, my stomach got tighter and tighter and tighter. Then I got the metallic taste in my mouth. (Thankfully, I actually had emptied my garbage that day). I sit up, grab the garbage, Dustin asks if I was sick...I answered accordingly.
This is way more information than anyone needs. But, I also see this as a warning to others as well as a learning experience for myself. With that action. All the stress left my body. It was like all the poison departed. Here's what I learned...I NEED A HEALTHIER OUTLET FOR STRESS! You think?  I also started my Prilosec again.
Now, it's not like anything changed between last night and this morning. I was in the chair a large portion of the night. I was actually up more, 3 times to take care of a screaming daughter. But, I now know what it is and that it has to change. The other thing I notice. I have only gotten out without children 1 time since December. Dustin and I got out two times alone, which is a pathetic date run too. What I really needed was a day by myself!  I got it last week, so it helped. I also noticed, without the sleep and because I've been feeling cruddy, I haven't exercised much in that time. I am realizing that my 30 minutes of random treadmill and cardio 3-4 times a day was probably keeping me sane and letting out what recently was building without it.  This morning, I felt like I had gotten rid of all the garbage last night. Today, I got a new start.
I also got something that I needed more than anything. I needed to know that Dustin appreciated what I had been dealing with and loved me for it and supported me. Last night, when we talked, I knew he heard me. He heard my pain, my stress, my sadness, my doubt and for once he said, "Why wouldn't you be stressed, you spend the entire day taking care of the kids, it's understandable, but I think you need to find a better way to get through it and I'll do whatever you ask to help."
This morning, I didn't ask, but he did help, in the most loving way possible.  I had another night in the recliner. Dustin had to be in town at 8:30, so it wasn't realistic for him to get up with them. (And truthfully, our marriage is very traditional this way, sometimes annoyingly so...I'm the Mom, I get up. And I will rant about this in a blog in the future because he's gotten an earful about it enough times!) Right now, I'm singing his praises.
He came down to find me in the recliner and said, "What can I get you?" I mumbled, "Coffee and Cheerios." And it was there in minutes, along with, "I'm so sorry it's like this right now."
The coffee and cereal might as well have been lobster and champagne.  I needed to know I wasn't alone and that even if he wasn't getting up, he appreciated the fact that I did. I needed empathy and he delivered it, with a cup of Carabou Blend and Multigrain Cheerios.
This incident has lead to some important discoveries. I am not always good at saying what I need and telling Dustin. I sometimes leave him guessing or assume that he knows. He jumped at the coffee and cereal because I was clear about what I wanted and he could give it to me.
He, like a lot of men, want to fix things. Sometimes he can't, but I can be better at expressing what I need from him, even if it isn't to fix it. And maybe, sometimes I should tell him something that I want, that he can get, so he can be part of the solution, even if it won't change the world. Coffee and cereal didn't change the situation, but it let him do his "fixing" thing, even though he knew it wouldn't change things, but it was going to make it better.
So, from now on, I need to check myself and be clearer about my needs. Dustin needs to point out when I'm not being clear and do it before we are in a fight about it.
So, five years into this marriage thing, we're still figuring it out. Good deal.