One of the aspects that I have really struggled with in the SAHM life is very seasonal. Cold days on the farm. This winter has involved more -15 below or more days than I have remembered in a few winters and that isn't including the windchill. It's freezing for an adult. It seems a bit irresponsible to take kids out in it. If my skin can freeze on contact, what would it do to them?
Consequently, I've been home alot. I miss getting out. Dustin got me out a few times, but I was sick, so enjoyment of those outings was a bit lacking. This winter has lead to a real lack of freedom. I don't always feel comfortable trying to manuever two kids by myself on outings, especially in this weather. Roads have been terrible this year. My car hasn't moved in weeks. (It actually hasn't even been dug out of the drift.) So, I've been feeling a bit like a prisoner.
I actually think if I had the option of leaving, even if I didn't go anywhere, I'd feel better if I had the option. I know that sounds silly, but it's true.
I've been getting out once a week for church. And I go with Dustin down to the farm. (His mom and dad's, which is the yard we farm out of). Don't get me wrong. I love my inlaws. They are wonderful. I get along with them very well. It's just, well. I really would rather go out for coffee with a girlfriend or even by myself. I have a list of people that I could call and meet for coffee or lunch on most days (assuming their work or family schedule permited). But it doesn't happen. I don't have anyone who can really just come over or a place to drop off the kids. My MIL, once in awhile, she's great, they love her. But I don't want to take advantage of that, I feel like I should only use her for real reasons, not cause I need a day with the girls.
I wish I had the husband that would say, "I'll get home early, you go out for the evening and I'll handle the kids." I have a wonderful husband, he's a wonderful dad, but while he was just starting to get comfortable with Ian, I think the idea of both of them, intimidates him. Truthfully, I would be more thrilled if he's arrange childcare and we'd go on a date. I don't think he thinks that way.
So, until they are both walking and talking.
I think I'm hope.
1 comment:
I totally understand the isolation and the sense that if you just had the OPTION to do something, it would help...
I think you should ask your MIL for a regular (monthly?) day off. I bet she'd be more than happy...grandparents love time with the grandkids! A happy mama will be great for the family too...don't feel like because it's something "for you" it's not a real reason...
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