Plan of attack.

The postpartum really has been hard to deal with because I tried to get help, but didnt' really get the help I wanted. Hmmmm.
I went to the OB because I had to check on some healing issues anyway. I told him about my postpartum. Now, I had a friend that also went through this and he was her doctor. He was absolutely wonderful.
Not so much with me. He said that I needed sleep. That is true. But, he prescribed me a sleeping pill and said, Dustin would have to be in charge of the baby for the night, I was to sleep.
Now, I don't mind Dustin taking care of the baby, he does that, but I am a little bothered about taking a heavy duty sleeping pill. Dustin was even surprised it was such a strong one. I'm not comfortable with it. When I was at the doctor, I just didn't really have it in me to question, not until after. I have no idea how hard this thing is going to hit me and for how long I'll be groggy.
With my history of depression, I wanted to go from my maintenance dose of my antidepressant and go back to my full dose. It has worked really well for me in the past.
So, Dustin and I have been taking turns with Ian, which wasn't a huge change. He'll take him the whole night if I need the extra sleep and ask. I have not taken the pill yet, I am too uncomfortable.
Getting out of the house yesterday was also a big help. Even with Ian with, just getting out was wonderful. So, at least once a week, I am going to town or to a friends, just to not look at the same walls anymore.
I also am making an appointment with my primary care physician. She would have been my doctor during my pregnancy if the hospital in Valley City hadn't stopped delivery. I feel like she knows me and my history better. I have to get my 6 week after check up, so I think I will go to her for it.
I feel like I have made some progress in figuring things out. dustin is supportive of whatever I want and need to do.
I'll get more sleep until the end of next week when I have my appointment with her.
I'll just feel better talking to my primary doctor.
Dustin is also getting me the best therapy he can buy for me. A cut, color and pedicure and it will be Ian free. I can't wait.
A better mommy is on the way.