I am a single parent for the second weekend in a row and I hate it! I have a great respect for people who have no choice and do this on a day in and day out basis. Especially since they are probably working full time and making it work as best they can and to do that without a partner is something I am not willing to try.
Dustin is at his paramedic refresher again this weekend, like last weekend. The kids are watching TV right now (sometimes mommy needs a two dimensional babysitter!) and I'm taking a blog break from cleaning up my office, especially cleaning up 2011 paperwork and receipts and I'm also shoveling Dustin's crap in a bin and he can deal with it. Did that sound bitter? It was.
I'm a bit protective of my office or as I prefer to think of, my playroom. It holds way more than I want it to already. I really should try to get this desktop moved to the shop and then figure out how I can get me a Mac. Hmmmm. I'll have to scheme on that later. The desktop is only a year old and needs to go in for some "technical issues" or stuff I've tried to fix, but for the life of me can't figure out. So, to the shop it will have to go. Eventually. I am having a hard time parting with it, even when it is annoying me. I do so much on the stupid thing, including payroll, which is why I'm most unwilling to give it up. If he can't get it back to me by the next pay period, I'll have to calculate...I shudder...with a calculator. Ugh. Nope, not for me. I'd even have to write the check out by hand. Perish the thought. How did I become this spoiled? Is this really how pathetic my life has become? Bothered by doing my own payroll when there are people who would love to get a paycheck? Hmmmm. I have become quite a pathetic office manager for the family farm.
Today is beautiful! After Ella's nap and lunch, not sure which order those will happen in, the kids and I will venture outside into the mud. Usually snow still this time of year...but, not this year, there's some left, but not enough to do anything fun with it. our snowman we made has fallen over and the head fell on the ground and broke and Ian was very matter-a-fact about it. "Mom, snowman broken. He tipped over." No tears though, thank goodness. My tenderhearted boy gets a little bit hurt of the slightest things. Even a melting pile of snow...
I am hoping to also get some filing done, bills written, a church bulletin done (oops, that's for tomorrow) and of course, laundry, the primary focus of my existence as office manager of the farm.
Yesterday, I talked to Dustin about being home v. going back to work. I'm glad that I don't have to right now because I realize that right now, I have no desire to have a full time call. I'm not willing to sell my soul to save someone else right now. That sounds a bit cruel and heartless, I know, but I think it would be how it would transpire.
The kids are thriving, I love being a partner in the farming decisions, I love that I can have intellectual conversation about when we should sell and at what price and from time to time, I've sold it myself because we reached the goal price and Dustin wasn't home, so I called in and sold it anyway. I work full time, but I'm not ready to do it anywhere, but home. I enjoy teaching confirmation and preaching about once every two months. It keeps me interesting. I have started to find time to read again and not feel like an intellectual slug. I think I may begin reading some classics that I haven't read and should have or haven't read in a long time. Right now, I have been veracious in my reading appetite. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Trilogy, The Hunger Games Trilogy, The Help, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, (which I will right on more, sometime because I ended up loving this book that I picked out of a cheap bin somewhere. It was an interesting look at WWII occupation and the aftermath.) As well as some Jennifer Weiner, some new, some rereads, and various other books that don't involve rhyming.
I have gotten my share of that too, the kids are really into Dr. Seuss lately. The Foot Book is in heavy rotation as well as a few others and the "Spark" Bible from Augsburg Fortress, which has been great in teaching some basic bible stories to my kids.
Life is too good to ruin it with a "job" especially since I'm loving my current vocation so much. My kids are amazing. They are also messy monsters, but that's a whole different category for another time. So while a call might come someday, it isnt' going to come soon, that's for sure. My call is being filled, just a different sort of congregation.
I hear the babysitting show is ending and it is getting quiet, that is never good. Better get lunch ready.
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